Happy Thanksgiving 2019

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(C)Copyright 2019, C. Burke.

Proportional limits without portion control may skew results at holiday tables.




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Mills Constant

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(C)Copyright 2019, C. Burke.

The numbers get big, so just try to find the Total.

Yes, I mixed brands for the "scoops" reference. You got me. You can send me up a Creek without a Battle!




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Twisted Logic? Nay!

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(C)Copyright 2019, C. Burke.

Now think before you filly the blanks.

Sorry for the two unrelated jokes and are less unrelated than you may imagine.

I can't state my case any more plane than that. Tap tap. (Final thought: Mike's name was originally going to be Ed, but I wouldn't go with a Mister Ed joke now, would I? I mean, except for that time that I actually did?

Hard to believe, the Horses tag was already there!




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Check Your Work

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(C)Copyright 2019, C. Burke.

Always Check your Check!

Honestly, it's not uncommon that that is where the mistake is.

But, please -- PLEASE!!! -- if you can't find the mistake,

DO NOT ERASE YOUR CHECK!

Erasing it will not make your mistake go away. Okay, if your mistake was in the Check, it goes away, but then you didn't check your work, and you lose points for that. And if there's a mistake in the problem, that's two mistakes.




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School Life #13

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(C)Copyright 2019, C. Burke.

It's nice to be included, and it's nice to include -- except for the one who eats his pizza with a fork. He's just embarrassing.

No pineapple comments. No self-respecting pizza place in the area would dare. Besides, do you think a bunch of school kids can afford extra toppings?

ObMath: One of the first signs of friendship is realizing that pooling your money to get a pie is more economical than buying individual slices. The downside is having to split things 8 or 12 ways, and figuring who gets the extra slice.

And then there's the kid who has to have square when everyone else wants round (triangle) or vice versa.

These story lines make me wonder if I should just write "fan fiction" about my own characters. Problem is that I'd like to start writing "real" fiction first, without procrastinating as much as I do and blaming external circumstances.

ObMathJoke: Volume of Pizza = Pi * z * z * a. (I posted a copy of someone else's cartoon ages ago because it was better than anything I could have drawn at the time, and I couldn't improve on the punchline.)




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(x, why?) Mini: BASIC

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(C)Copyright 2019, C. Burke.

COBOL wouldn't fit in the window, and forget about my knowledge of FORTRAN!

Seriously, I went to review some FORTRAN IV online and I couldn't tell if it was what I learned back in college or some version from the past 30 years or so.




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Temperature v Time

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(C)Copyright 2019, C. Burke.

That second area is known as "Fiddling with the knobs" or "Piddle, Twiddle and Resolve".

But I probably don't want "piddle" and "shower" in the same comic.

The Goldilocks zone is actually a little narrower than that. The y-axis is adjusted for readability.




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Subscripts

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(C)Copyright 2019, C. Burke.

I'm shocked -- shocked -- that I haven't used this pun before.




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Happy Veterans Day 2019

A little late, but a message to say Happy Veterans Day! and "Thank You! to all the veterans out there.

In the twelve years that (x, why?) has been published, this is one of the holidays that I've tried not to miss. However, there isn't a comic for it this year. Why?

The short answer: I couldn't think of one, short of another picture of a flag. The next to last resort is trotting out Mike's Dad and Uncle for a joke with the other vets.

Slightly longer: I'd rather not have one than to force one for a particular day. There were only a couple of Halloween comics this year due to fewer updates and less inspiration. Christmas is coming and it may suffer the same fate. When I make fewer updates and don't keep a regular schedule, I raise the bar on myself for what I should post. And holidays present their own problem in that they don't move, so I can't just post a comic a day or two later.

In the meantime, allow me to repost something that I found on the Internet some time in the 90s. I don't know if Father O'Brien, USMC wrote the entire thing, or just the part at the end. I used to post it every year when I had my own web pages when I was new on the Internet.

WHAT IS A VET?

Father Denis Edward O'Brien, USMC

WHAT IS A VET?

Some veterans bear visible signs of their service: a missing limb, a jagged scar, a certain look in the eye.

Others may carry the evidence inside them: a pin holding a bone together, a piece of shrapnel in the leg - or perhaps another sort of inner steel: the soul's ally forged in the refinery of adversity.

Except in parades, however, the men and women who have kept America safe wear no badge or emblem.

You can't tell a vet just by looking.

What is a vet?

He is the cop on the beat who spent six months in Saudi Arabia sweating two gallons a day making sure the armored personnel carriers didn't run out of fuel.

He is the barroom loudmouth, dumber than five wooden planks, whose overgrown frat-boy behavior is outweighed a hundred times in the cosmic scales by four hours of exquisite bravery near the 38th parallel.

She - or he - is the nurse who fought against futility and went to sleep sobbing every night for two solid years in Da Nang.

He is the POW who went away one person and came back another - or didn't come back AT ALL.

He is the Quantico drill instructor who has never seen combat - but has saved countless lives by turning slouchy, no-account rednecks and gang members into Marines, and teaching them to watch each other's backs.

He is the parade - riding Legionnaire who pins on his ribbons and medals with a prosthetic hand.

He is the career quartermaster who watches the ribbons and medals pass him by.

He is the three anonymous heroes in The Tomb Of The Unknowns, whose presence at the Arlington National Cemetery must forever preserve the memory of all the anonymous heroes whose valor dies unrecognized with them on the battlefield or in the ocean's sunless deep.

He is the old guy bagging groceries at the supermarket - palsied now and aggravatingly slow - who helped liberate a Nazi death camp and who wishes all day long that his wife were still alive to hold him when the nightmares come.

He is an ordinary and yet an extraordinary human being - a person who offered some of his life's most vital years in the service of his country, and who sacrificed his ambitions so others would not have to sacrifice theirs.

He is a soldier and a savior and a sword against the darkness, and he is nothing more than the finest, greatest testimony on behalf of the finest, greatest nation ever known.

So remember, each time you see someone who has served our country, just lean over and say Thank You. That's all most people need, and in most cases it will mean more than any medals they could have been awarded or were awarded.

Two little words that mean a lot, "THANK YOU".

Remember November 11th is Veterans Day

"It is the soldier, not the reporter,
Who has given us freedom of the press.
It is the soldier, not the poet,
Who has given us freedom of speech.
It is the soldier, not the campus organizer,
Who has given us the freedom to demonstrate.
It is the soldier,
Who salutes the flag,
Who serves beneath the flag,
And whose coffin is draped by the flag,
Who allows the protestor to burn the flag."

Father Denis Edward O'Brien
USMC

1 + 1

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(C)Copyright 2019, C. Burke.

Simple math: two became one.




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What Kind of Slope?

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(C)Copyright 2019, C. Burke.

Pretty much a given that it's negative, right?




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Relation

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(C)Copyright 2019, C. Burke.

I think it's mapped out pretty well.

The function is left as an exercise for the reader.




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How the Knight Moves

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(C)Copyright 2019, C. Burke.

Number 1 with a Silver Bullet.

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